Gods: The Review
Our first Warmachine/Hordes campaign weekend has come and gone. The organisers didn’t quite kill each other, and we weren’t lynched by the competitors; so a successful weekend then!
So, what happened? LOADS!!!
To start with, here is a photo of our victims, the poor souls who paid for two days of complete madness…
On the Saturday morning (after getting up FAR too early), myself, Dan Currey and Dave Offen-James (henceforth known as the dis-organisers) rolled into Triple Helix Wargames in Westbury.
Thankfully most of the setup was done the night before so our main task was to organise (!) ourselves, organise coffee, and enroll an unsuspecting Neil Sharp. Neil (and Smithee) had arrived late the night before from West Cornwall (the pointy bit at the end of the country) and had brought a spectacular harbour board up with them on the train. Of course, being tired Neil did not get a chance to object to his new role as my very bad guy organiser.
A short, and appropriately confusing briefing later, Dan ‘good guy’ Currey, and Dave ‘Evil OJ Science’ OJ were left scratching their heads whilst Neil practiced his evil grin, and I started registering our players.
Much to my absolute delight, all of these turned up, and mostly on time! This was a good sign.
After the opening presentation where I successfully confused everyone else at the event, Dan and Dave started organising the Alliance of Light and the Wolves of the West; our two main sides for the weekend. The first order of business was to break out the chocolate coins, hire some mercenaries, and issue the first set of orders.
Our campaign started with the Wolves of the West (Khador and Cyrx) entering the valley from the North West; and the Alliance of Light (Cygnar, Retributon and Circle) mostly starting in Hope.
The first engagements (at 15 points) saw the Alliance besiege Ironfang whilst one Khador player overran the Cygnar defenders of Hope. Of course, this would just not do! The first orders of round two (at 25 points) saw the Cygnar players heading back to Hope whilst the Wolves ran amok! Around this point the mercenaries (in particular Chris Cawthorne’s lovely Skorne and Tom Cory) figured out there was more money (chocolate) to be gained by being hired twice, rather than just once.
This was the beginning of many cunning plots and subplots by our mercenary players. And we thought their employers would be the ones to knife the mercs in the back…
The results from game two showed a shift in the balance of power. Although the Wolves kept Ironfang (just); Hope and Maul fell to the Alliance whilst Bartertown was hotly contested.
The final game of Saturday was a bit mad. The plan was to have four players per side. With 26 players in total, that required some creativity. Determined to find the forgotten city of Edethor first, the Alliance launched an assault on Ferryhead and again besieged Ironfang. The mercenary settlement of Bartertown was caught in the middle.
The harbour of Ferryhead saw Ryan (our Circle representative in the Alliance) and Richard Wray charge head on into two Khador armies. Whilst a beautiful board, the harbour did force the opposing sides into a narrow bottleneck. The resulting meat grinder saw the Khador players pushed back and defeated. First blood to the good guys.
In Ironfang, things were closer, until one of the mercenaries disengaged from the enemy for a mere two chocolate coins. This guaranteed victory to the Wolves in their home city. From my point of view, this was a bit of a relief.
On the main road to Bartertown, Protectorate had managed to persuade Chris Cawthorne’s Skorne to join them for free. However, the Wolves had sent three armies to stop them holding the critical route to Bartertown. The road stayed open, just.
Bartertown on the other hand was simply crazy. Four destroyers tried to hold the town from the combined forces of five Alliance players. After Martin “They can do that?” Smith was caught out, there were three destroyers left. Garry lasted a respectable four turns against three mercenaries but in the end, Bartertown fell to the Alliance. However, the game overran a tiny bit (I think three hours) so upon its completion, everyone retired for the day.
After a little drinking, less sleep, and a very impressive breakfast from the Red Lodge B&B; we all rolled up Sunday morning. In a desperate attempt to organise things a little better than Saturday, I spent sometime improving the spreadsheet in the early hours so guess who was Mr Grumpy in the morning. Kindly, everyone ignored my grumpiness and one Guts N’ Gears interview later, we were ready to crack on!
With a map to Edethor (via Ferryhead) in the hands of the Alliance, they launched a full assault into the city (this round was 25 point doubles), only find evil Neil Sharp and his destroyers waiting for them. However there were also other matters to attend to. Two particularly naughty mercenaries found themselves subject to a bit of a telling off as their employers decided to teach them a lesson. This of course did not work.
Some of our other mercenaries also took the opportunity to re-negotiate their contracts after the Alliance currency was significantly devalued by the rules of the weekend. Regardless of size, one chocolate coin was just one chocolate coin.
In Edethor, the Alliance forces led by Sam (mouth of the south) Sedgi and his Retribution assassin army of pointy eared death looked for any clues to the location of Nyrro. Although they were unsuccessful this round, at least I managed to find the Relic cards hidden under my laptop by the end of the game.
After lunch, and some shopping, our story continued with a 25 point game. The previous round, the Wolves managed to sneak a couple of armies pass Ferryhead and into Edethor. With Bartertown razed behind them, the Wolves fell onto Maul and Ironpeak to try and prevent the Alliance escaping. In Edethor itself, battles raged.
In a single round, the Wolves (much to OJ’s surprise), took Maul, Ironpeak, and prevented all but one Alliance victory in Edethor. That victory, was a Circle victory. Forgotten by his colleagues, Ryan succeeded where Cygnar and Retribution had failed.
So, on to the final game of the weekend. A final 15 point blast in the ruins of Edethor. In the Temple of the Gods, Baldur the Stonecleaver faced one of the undead Lich Lords of Cyrx; and around them the rest of the Alliance fought to protect the Circle Warlock in this final battle.
Annoyingly, Nik Topham succeeded in doing this without playing the artefact card he won Saturday evening; thus denying me the opportunity to properly use the ‘plot device’. Elsewhere, the Alliance of Light had a remarkably successful campaign in Edethor, winning the entire battlezone through cunning tactics, and the brutal application of chocolate coins!
In the critical battle at the heart of Edethor, Ryan’s Circle won the day, sealing overall victory for the Alliance of Light. However much to Ryan’s disappointment, the tomb of Nyrro was already empty.
Each of the victors received one of the Gaming Club Network’s exclusive Hammerhead 2011 models plus a certificate presented by the defeated narrator, Dave ‘OJ science’ OJ. Prettiest Army went to Chris Cawthorne’s very pretty Skorne army (oh we hate him, he can play AND paint!); Kristian Robertson (playing Cyrx) was the Most Blood Thirsty General and Jon Warmington’s Pirates ended the weekend as the Richest Mercenaries.
The final award of the day went to Martin Smith, the most Kicked
Warcaster Warlock. In the hope that he may win a game at some point in the future, we gave him a KOed Dice bag to put his cursed dice in.
Martin was last seen in the shop planning his next army.
With that, and a bit of clearing up, our weekend came to an end!
Thanks to an excellent group of players, I think everyone had a great weekend! And a massive thank you should also go to Triple Helix Wargames (our hosts); plus Dan Currey, Dave Offen-James and Neil Sharp (the LEGION team).
The next Warmachine event will be Iron Helix, a three round Steamroller tournament on the 3rd September. More details to follow shortly…